i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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