I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
