new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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