awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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