i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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