This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
