I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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