There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
as a side note pls kill me
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
