Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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