she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
