I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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