I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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