I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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