I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just had sex on a roof
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
