last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize