from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
