I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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