Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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