You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
sex in a hospital.. check
Randomize