I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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