Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
