Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize