you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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