He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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