im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize