Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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