I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
