UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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