distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
