Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
