She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
