I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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