I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
