will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize