I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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