All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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