im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Be still, my beating vagina.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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