just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize