whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
