i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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