god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
