So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
