I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
