David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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