She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
