Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
