Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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