Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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