Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize