Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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