she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
