it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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