The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
