meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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