Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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