Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
